Ass or Tits is Overrated. The Real Question is Sundress or Flared Leggings...

From the dawn of civilization, mankind has found ways to debate life’s most critical questions. For centuries, one of the classics has been: “Are you an ass or tits guy?” This legendary debate has transcended generations and still echoes in middle school lunchrooms and office break rooms alike. And hey, I respect the men who stand proudly on either side. But let’s be real—it’s starting to feel like a tired question. It’s time to evolve. Time for us men to ask the questions that really matter, the ones that impact our daily lives in ways we can actually feel. So here it is: Are you a sundress or flared leggings kind of guy?

Now, before you roll your eyes, let me just say this debate has all the makings of a modern classic. Both the sundress and the flared leggings deserve some serious respect. Let’s start with the sundress. Sundresses have this inexplicable power. They’re like a “fast pass” to a man’s heart, an instant win, an angelic vision that can brighten even the most mundane day. There’s just something magical about a woman in a sundress (especially you, Annika!). It’s the ultimate summer vibe—sunshine, warm breezes, and that effortless charm that only sundresses seem to carry.

But then there are the flared leggings. These babies are practically an optical illusion. Whoever invented them was nothing short of a genius. They’re like steroids for women. No matter who’s wearing them, these pants manage to create curves where none existed, instantly leveling up any ass. It’s like leggings, but with… superpowers. You see a woman walking by in those, and suddenly you’re doing a double-take. It’s not just leggings—it’s a whole experience. 

The real kicker here is that these wardrobe heroes are seasonal, making the debate even harder to settle. Sundresses are a summer staple, while flared leggings are the fall and early winter go-to. So, not only are we talking about style here, but we’re looking at whole seasonal atmospheres. Sundress season means baseball and tennis games, beach trips, and lemonade stands. Meanwhile, flared legging season is all about football, basketball, and hockey, plus cozy sweaters and pumpkin spice in the air. It’s like a whole lifestyle choice between the two. One season is iced coffee and the other, a steaming peppermint mocha.

After carefully weighing all these factors, you’d think I’d have a solid stance. But honestly, it’s still a toss-up for me. Sundresses make women look angelic, but flared leggings are the perfect combination of comfort and style—and, let’s be real, they look good on pretty much anyone. Ultimately, though, my girlfriend’s wardrobe leans heavily toward the flared leggings side of the spectrum. So, in the name of love and household harmony, I’m happy to throw my support behind team flared leggings.