Scott Boras Held Court At The GM Meetings And Unleashed Some Absolutely Unreal Dad Puns About His Clients
This guy cracks me up, he's the most powerful man in sports and he can't stop acting like your friend's dad. All he does is hype up his guys to every baseball reporter in the game and he does it in the most insane way possible. He's famous for the binders that he brings to the meetings and stuff but we have to talk more about the puns that Scott Boras makes when chatting up and gassing up his clients. If he is your agent he will talk about you like no one else in the world has even talked about you. He may be 72 but he is still as wise as anyone when it comes to his wordplay.
Every single pun is just soooo corny. Calling Juan Soto "the magic Juan", guy thought he nailed that. You knew he would slip a "polar" joke in there somewhere, and he even slipped in a "him" joke when talking about Ha-Seong Kim. These reporters fight for position to get up close to Boras to hear him spit nursery rhymes at them. He's like Rone up there, giving us lines that make you have to figure out who he's talking about. It's like he's a ring leader in a circus and he's entertaining everyone with words before the show really starts. No doubt he sits there giggling to himself thinking about what he's going to say, this is all just a game to him it seems. He had some good ones for Corbin Burnes and Soto but his big winner at the dinner table this year was the Blake Snell pun.
Snelling salts! He hit us with Snelling salts for Blake! My word what a genius this guy is. Funniest MLB agent out there, even if he's lost a step in the board room he's still as punny as ever. He's evolved from a mega agent to a part time comic. I'm sure he thinks speaking like this makes him "cool" and "hip" to his younger clients and he's just showing them he can fit in and be like them. It really is a perfect storm too, you'd have to think that he has his reporter friends ask him certain questions certain ways so he can give these punny answers. He's just out there running continuous alley-oops.
He is literally Mitch Hedberg up there at an open mic trying out new material. Just look and listen how he sets it up in real time, he lets it marinate and runs through it in his mind before he lets it fly. He's such an artist when it comes to press conferences, no one does it like Scotty B. Every year these get better and better, looking forward to the year he holds it at an actual comedy club.