It Seems Sabrina Carpenter Has The Ability To Curse Any Sports Team Her Heart Desires + An Update On Her New Concert's Sex Position Tradition
Alright folks, we've got two developing stories within one blog here. Both are regarding Sabrina Carpenter so I know at Barstool SPORTS this going to be a tough one to get through. Well, one has to do with sports actually, so let's get into that first before you leave me. The second one involves sex? In theory this blog should work well, but I need you to stay focused.
Sabrina Carpenter appears to have an ability to curse sports teams. Now the Klemmers of the world will say curses aren't real and blah, blah, blah. Cubs goat curse, Drake curse, Madden curse, Red Sox destroying the 2018 WS trophy curse. As a baseball nutjob I believe in all this shit. Allow me to introduce some evidence to the equation at hand.
She rocked a jersey and they lost in devastating fashion in the Euros this summer.
She donned a Phillies 69 jersey only to watch them get eliminated by the Mets in Game 4 of the NLDS the very next day. The Leafs? Dropped their season opener to the Canadiens. Not the end of the world for them, but any loss for Toronto hockey is sad, especially on opening night.
And most recently, she randomly walked around NYC with a Cowboys sweatshirt just a few days before they got shitpumped on national TV by the Lions.
All I know is this woman can't be wearing any Yankees merch over the next few weeks. I can't have it man. Someone ship her a bunch of Guardos, Dodgers, Mets shit in the mean time. No concerts scheduled in NY anytime soon, but then again she wasn't in Dallas while wearing the Cowboys merch.
The second half of this blog will be dedicated to her Short n' Sweat tour. It's a fantastic time by all accounts. Her music bops and the dances seem top notch. Doesn't hurt that in the middle of her concert she reenacts a sex position for the crowd. She used to do a different horny outro for her song "Nonsense" but has retired that for the sex position randomizer during "Juno."
Taylor Swift has a tradition where she plays a few surprise songs every concert to get people to feel special about the event they're attending. It KILLS her fans when they see their low key favorites getting played in another city. Sabrina Carpenter does this but with sex positions. Fans get to bond over whether they got doggie style or the one where her legs are straight up in the air, possibly standing doggie, who knows! I'm really not creative enough or physically capable to attempt anything else here. I can't even imagine what else she has planned.
She's ripping concerts in the US through November 18th before taking a break until March when she hits Europe. So much time to curse other teams and educate us about various sex positions. Consider myself tuned in for updates.