October Can Officially Start Now After Kyle Schwarber Nukes A Leadoff Home Run Right Down The Mets' Throats
Welcome to October in South Philadelphia, ladies and gentlemen.
"But but but how are the Phillies going to handle this layoff?"
"But but but the Mets are so hot right now"
"But but but that little hairplugged bitch Pete Alonso has a magical pumpkin!"
You think Kyle Schwarber gives a shit about any of that? Kyle Schwarber told this dork to take his ghost fork and shove it straight up his ass. Postseason baseball has officially begun with the first leadoff Schwarbomb of the month. Wild card was a great warmup, but now the big boys are here to play. Don't want to get moon shotted to death? You're going to have to pitch around Schwarber, you're going to have to pitch around Turner, you're going to have to pitch around Harper, you're going to have to pitch around Castellanos. Have fun with that.