Tom Brady is Back With One of His Semi-Regular Reminders He's Still Better Than Anyone in the NFL

"I just want to make sure all those young bucks in the NFL know that if I still wanted to come out of retirement, they still got something to deal with." 

The lesser bloggers of the world, the demagogues, the bottom feeders who live off the scraps of whatever clickbait they can get their little pincers on, would hear these words come from an obviously lean, fit, tanned, rested and ready Tom Brady and suggest in the headline something along the lines of "Brady is Thinking of Coming Out of Retirement." 

But we don't need to play those childish games. My relationship with you is built on trust. And my relationship with Brady is built on him addressing me by name and wanting to know how I'm doing:

And these to me are sacred trusts. Which I do not take lightly. So instead of crassly sensationalizing this, allow me to interpret exactly what he's saying. By pointing out the one operative word he used. 

If. 

This was Brady reminding all the pretenders to his throne that he is still the King. Even if he abdicated the throne, no man rules over him. He could return at a moment's notice, walk onto a practice field, spend a few days familiarizing his new teammates with the offense he mastered 25 years ago, and begin rebuilding his pyramid of skulls. He's simply chosen not to.

He's gone on to newer challenges. To conquer new worlds in the broadcast booth. But the people trying to compare Patrick Mahomes to him are being subtly put on notice that Mahomes gets to be as successful as he is only because the one true GOAT is getting ready to dominate network television instead of dominating the Chiefs the way he did in Super Bowl LV. He simply has no interest in such petty rivalries. 

At the moment, that is. And should he be so inclined, he'll arrive on a roster without hesitation. And without firing a warning shot first. In the meantime, while you're sweating your ballsacks off in training camp, he'll be enjoying the good life with his kids in Italy until further notice. All the 20- and 30-somethings in football should be hoping his unretirement doesn't happen. And be ready in case it does.