Spain's 16 Year-Old Sensation, Lamine Yamal, Being Bathed As An Infant By Messi Set Up His Entire Life
That baby being bathed by the GOAT is Spain's teenage sensation. He scored yesterday in the semis to help Spain defeat France becoming the youngest player ever to score in the Euros at just 16.
What a surreal image to be making the rounds this tournament. 20 year-old Messi laying on hands. Anointing the next great one with a baptism. Sure, it looks like he borderline waterboards the kid at first, but clearly it didn't matter. This is the international version of Ricky Bobby "sure ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby". Messi ended up in the PERFECT state for this sort of revelation. Florida LOVES them some religion. Maybe not Miami but when Messi goes up to Orlando City or Tampa Bay he has to just rent out a big water park wave pool and do mass baptisms. Hundreds of American babies dipped in chlorine, urine, h2o, and whatever heavenly oils flow out of Messi should be enough for us to create an actual golden generation instead of the one that flamed out in the Copa America with a loss to Panama. No more academies. No more false promise of our guys playing in Europe. We need an appeal to the almighty. That's our only hope. In the meantime...