USA! USA! USA!: Utah Woman Becomes Fastest Mermaid In The World At Mermaid Olympics

Source -- A lot of young girls pretend to be a mermaid while swimming in a pool or the ocean, but one Provo woman has made that dream come true and competed in the Merlympics.

Mia Sim, 22, became the fastest mermaid in the world in May when she competed at the Swiss Merlympics in Geneva, Switzerland. The Merlympics have been around since 2015 and the competition is held every two years. Sim has officially been mermaiding for 10 years, and she said the Merlympics have really boomed in the last five years.

"This is the elite athleticism you can get out of mermaids," Sim said. Many mermaids will do pageants or events, but the Merlympics are "solely designed to prove athleticism."

There's not a single country on the planet that has more athletic range than THE United States of America. Basketball, gymnastics, track and field, ice hockey, golf, snowboarding, you name it. If there's an Olympic competition, you can bet your sweet ass that the US of A is going to take home a gold medal in that competition. 

So if the world is going to come together to see who the fastest mermaid on the planet is, well then we're going to win that shit as well. Because that's just what we do. If you would have asked me before today where the fastest mermaid in the world was located, I probably would have said somewhere in Australia. Maybe somewhere near the Netherlands. Or if it had to be anywhere in America, I'd naturally have to go with Florida. But now we know the fastest mermaid in the world resides in Provo, Utah. Which just goes to show you that greatness can come from anywhere. 

Also I love the shot they took at those beauty pageant mermaids who are all just in it for the looks. The Merlympics are where the real mermaids go to compete. Don't show up looking like Ariel unless you want to get absolutely dusted out there. 

@JordieBarstool