Thoughts And Prayers To This Celtics Fan Who Decided It Was A Great Idea To Jump Head First Into The Brewer Fountain In The Boston Common

Scrolling Twitter these last 5 days has been nothing but dopamine hit after dopamine hit. I'm not sure if it's possible to overdose on Twitter videos but I am willing to sacrifice myself in the name of science in order to find out.

While Monday-Thursday has consisted of edits, highlight tapes, interviews, celebrations etc, today's dose of Celtics Social Media Crack comes via the parade. I'm not sure you heard, but there was a championship parade today in Boston that reportedly 2 million people attended. It was a whole big thing.

Of all the incredible videos we've seen today, I think I've found my favorite one, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the players/actual parade

This poor bastard. If you're a stoolie and you know this guy, please send him my well wishes because there is no doubt that jump hurt like hell. The Brewer Fountain in the Boston Common is maybe 1 foot of water deep and that might even be generous. To willingly bellyflop into that shallow water perfectly sums up what this title has done to Celtics fans and the city of Boston as a whole. We've lost our collective minds in all the right ways. For all we know this fella was going for his own Derrick White moment, because it would not shock me at all if he got up and suddenly looked like this after going face first into 1 foot of water

Speaking of Derrick White, he continues to be a national treasure

Now back to the jumper for a second. Not only is jumping face first in shallow water typically a bad idea, you couldn't pay me to jump into a shallow fountain in a public park. That water has to be beyond disgusting, and I'm not ruling out the possibility that this is how we start Covid 2.0. For all we know this is going to create a strain so strong it'll make that bat from 4 years ago blush. 

But hey, this is just what happens when you are fortunate enough to win a title with a parade on a Friday. The weather was great, everyone was hammered, the Celts Kool Aid was ice cold and on an endless tap, and sometimes you do things that you'll 10000% regret once you sober up.