Top 5 Barstool Personalities Who Could Host "Saturday Night Live" (Besides Dave And Big Cat)
Some of the most popular blogs I've ever written have been me bashing how unfunny "Saturday Night Live" is. As bad as the show is, I bizarrely find myself continually coming back. "Saturday Night Live" is an important show. It's a New York institution. And as bad as the show is at this point, it is still a big deal to host it.
I wrote a whole blog yesterday about Shane Gillis being invited to host SNL five years after they fired him. I think that's fantastic. Could you give me more funny, edgy people hosting? But it got me thinking about who at this company would be best suited to host the popular sketch comedy show. I'm excluding El Presidente and Big Cat. That's just too easy. We know how talented those guys are. We need this to be a challenge. I'll get to the top 5, but first, here are a few honorable mentions.
HONORABLE MENTION: Ben Mintz
If the show was called "Saturday Night," Mintzy would be high up on this top five list. That pesky "live" part would probably do him in.
HONORABLE MENTION: Nate
The only reason an Eric Nathan-led episode of "Saturday Night Live" wouldn't work is because they wouldn't give him full creative control. There'd be too many cooks in the kitchen. There'd be too many writers and people pitching ideas. A Nate-hosted "Saturday Night Live" episode would work if Nate was in charge of the entire thing, which I think is impossible. We need a dog off the leash, balls-to-the-wall spider monkey, but I don't believe that's feasible, so he's only an honorable mention.
NUMBER 5: Francis Ellis
Over the last several years, "Saturday Night Live" has been severely lacking in funny people, which is why Francis would probably immediately be one of the more talented people in the room at Rockefeller Center. He seemingly has no filter, which might be a problem for live television. He could end up being one of those one-and-done hosts who accidentally said the F-word on live TV. Given his track record, though, I'm sure if he fucked something up, he'd be invited back to host three years later, and everyone would forget that it ever happened.
NUMBER 4: Caleb Pressley
The cadence in which Caleb delivers his lines during the Sundae Conversations feels like a great old Saturday Night Live character. I had to put him on the list because you have so much built-in material already. SNL is big on the cameos, and with the number of connections that Caleb has, this episode would be out of the Wazzu with celebrity appearances. Fun fact: Drew Barrymore has hosted "Saturday Night Live" more than any woman in history. Get her and Glenny Balls back on stage for a Sundae Conversation parody, and remake the make-out that the two of them had. I'm full of good ideas today. 
NUMBER 3: Caroline Baniewicz
People capable of musical comedy are pretty incredible to me, especially because I'm incapable of both. Two key things that any great "Saturday Night Live" host needs are versatility and the ability to make fun of yourself. Having consumed Caroline's content over the last year and a half, I feel like she'd be a shoo-in to be a solid SNL host. Have her write her own monologue and let everyone else clear out. Theater kids make for some of the best "Saturday Night Live" hosts (See: Emma Stone).
NUMBER 2: Nick Turani
There is an alternate universe in which Nick Turani would've been an exceptional "Saturday Night Live cast member." He's a dear boy who I trust with my life, and I would probably vote to run for president if he decided to. If you want to host SNL, you have to be quick. You have to expect that things might not always go right, and if they don't, you have to be able to improvise. There's not a quicker motherfucker in this world than Nick Turani. Tell Colin Jost and Michael Che to take a weekend off and let Nick and KB do Weekend Update. I give you special brownie points for being probably the only Barstool host who would subtly sneak in a Chris Castellani reference.
NUMBER 1: Chris Castellani
I looked at this objectively and concluded that there was really no other choice. The key theme is to find somebody lacking in awkwardness and booming with charisma and sex appeal. There's no better option at this company than Chris Castellani. Hahahahaha, I can't even say that was a straight face. OK, let's get to the real number one.
NUMBER 1 (FOR REAL): Frank Fleming
What is crazy is I could actually see this happening. Like, no joke. I think Frank Fleming is more famous than any current "Saturday Night Live" cast number, and as Dave said in a recent tweet, he is the king of New York. People would come out in droves to see a Frank Fleming "Saturday Night Live." It would be a showstopper. You could have cameos from Mets players. Darrin Ruff could make an appearance during Frank's monologue, and Frank could "pretend" to beat the shit out of him on stage. Think about a Frank the Tank walk with J.J. Watt, in which they discussed their experiences hosting "Saturday Night Live." I bet we could even squeeze a Mike Francesa cameo in. We can give Frank an Emmy that he can throw across the room when Starling Marte strikes out with the bases loaded next season.