Taylor Swift Is The United States' Department Of Defense Greatest Asset That We Are Fumbling

We live in strange times. There are very few, if any, sources for news that don't have a hint of an agenda so the ability to capture news as it happens across the globe is next to impossible. Some areas are more devoid of undertones than others but that doesn't excuse them from the occasional wacky headline. Often when dealing with news stories involving the Department of Defense, we tend to get the facts in black in white because of all the news topics out there, our country can usually unify itself behind the troops. 

Enter the world's greatest living pop star and as we now know, NOT a DoD asset. Unfortunately. 

 A spokesperson for the Department of Defense has clapped back at right-wing conspiracy theorists who claim the government is working with Taylor Swift, Time Magazine, the NFL and the Democratic Party to ensure the win of President Joe Biden this November over likely opponent Donald Trump, who reportedly claims he's "more popular" than the pop star, anyway. 

On Friday, Department of Defense Deputy Press Secretary Sabrina Singh told Forbes: “Taylor Swift is not part of a DOD psychological operation. Period.”

The comment from the Pentagon is the second time the department has shut down rumors about a behind-the-scenes partnership—Fox News anchor Jesse Watters last month asked on air if Swift is “a front for a covert political agenda” and claimed she was part of a DOD “psyop” for combating misinformation online; Singh said the department would "shake it off" in regard to the conspiracy theory.

My only question to Ms. Singh - why isn't she? 

No no, not for political purposes. She absolutely has no impact on the election in November and anyone pontificating on that theory is merely using her for clicks and eyeballs or is a world class moron. Yes, looking at you Jesse Waters. 

Why can't we let Taylor enjoy her Spy Era or better yet, her world peace Era. I'm serious though so hear me out. 

Haven't you ever seen the movie BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE?

The entire crux of Bill and Ted traveling through time to collect historical figures to ace their school report is so they can eventually create music that unites everyone and delivers world peace. 

As this generation's greatest songwriter, Taylor already has that music in droves. 

Yes, really! 

I asked resident Taylor expert, Kelly Keegs, to weigh in on the topic. 

"Of the 195 countries in the world, how many have people who listen to Taylor's music?" (For those keeping track at home, I asked Kelly this question on a Friday while she was wearing makeup)

"Unequivocally, all 195. No doubt in my mind."

There you have it, Department of Defense. Bill and Ted gave you the blueprint and she's already blanketed the globe with her music. Cut her a check from that budget of yours and start using her to bring peace to our world. Each day we don't take advantage of her reach is a mistake and a waste of our country's greatest asset. 

Strange times, indeed.