A True Nightmare: Not One, But Two Cross-Country Skiers Suffered From A Frozen Penis During A Recent World Cup Race

[Source] - Calle Halfvarsson told the media he had to spend ten minutes heating his appendage in a tent where competitors warm-up post race.

Speaking to Swedish outlet Expressen after recovering, the 34-year-old said: “I have frozen my penis. For real. Damn, I had to lie in there [warm-up tent] for ten minutes to warm it up.

“It hurts so damn much. It's terrible. It's lucky that I'm going to have my second child, because this is going to be difficult in the future if I'm going to continue like this.”

Asked if he could describe the pain, Halfvarsson replied: “No. Those who know, they know. 

Christ almighty. You can't be out here talking about frozen penises all willy nilly like this. I've long thought a broken kneecap sounded like the most disgusting injury one could suffer. Not the worst, just disgusting factor for an injury. I've now changed my mind. You don't beat frozen penis. You sure as shit don't break TWO frozen cocks. I'm not talking about two racers in this case either. I'm talking about the other guy who has suffered it twice now: 

Halfvarsson wasn’t the only one to pick up the affliction, with Finn Remi Lindholm also requiring treatment.

Lindholm had previously frozen his penis during the Beijing Olympics and after doing so again in Ruka, he told the media: “It’s bad.”

Dude, what? I'm all for competitive spirit and resiliency but if you suffer a frozen dick you gotta sit out. Just retire on the spot. There's not one person who would blame you or talk bad about you. Look at the quote. Those who know, they know. I don't know what a frozen penis feels like but I assume it's terrifying. Think about it. On a day where we have Chaps and WSD arguing about whether or not you can cum in space, we got two guys out here trying to battle back from frozen cock syndrome. They gotta worry if they can cum in a few days, not in space. That's the real battle here. 

Really this is just a win for those of us who stay inside. You know what sucks? The cold. It's miserable, no one should like being outside in the cold. You can talk about layering up but take it from this story and quotes. You are on the verge of dealing with frozen twig and berries. That doesn't happen on a recliner. Shit, my recliner has a heating option so I have to worry about scorching my dick more than it being frozen. 

We talk about nightmare scenarios all the time here but this is it. This is the battle I don't ever want to experience.