Some Poor Bastard Was Leading A Triathlon Right Until The Very End Before Falling At The Finish Line After Looking Back To See If Anyone Was Coming
Look, I'm not going to sit on my fat ass and criticize an an athlete for coming up short at the end of a race, let alone a TRIATHLETE that ran and did whatever other two events are in the triathlon. But that doesn't mean my boss can't make fun of him!
(My considerable gut says the other two events are swimming and cycling but for some reason shooting is always in the "thon" I end up watching in the Olympics)
I mean what are you doing *looks up name of person who fell* Mika Noodt? The first thing they teach you in Triathlon School is to never look behind because that isn't going to help you run faster. Okay, they probably don't teach that at Triathlon School because I'm pretty sure there is no such thing as Triathlon School. But still, I feel like anytime you hear footsteps coming behind you with the finish line in reach, you gotta throw on the turbo boosters and close that shit out like 2022 Edwin Diaz. Even the hunter dude in Jurassic Park knew to look in his rearview mirror instead of turning around with the apex of all apex predators chasing him.
I guess you can make a case that Mika didn't have a rearview mirror to look into, which seems like a lack of preparation on his part. But this should be a lesson to all the triathletes out there that looking behind to see what's going on is only going to freak you out and maybe even case wipe you out while making your world class athlete ass look like the dude stumbling and bumbling from that car wash commercial.
You can also make a case that Mika was fucked either way because the dude closing on him had all the juice while Mika had nothing but jelly legs. But Nonetheless, this concludes today's entry of a Barstool blogger criticizing someone doing something that said Barstool employee would die even attempting to do!