The World's Chillest Bear Stormed A Gas Station In British Columbia, Stole A Pack Of Gummy Bears, And Just Walked Out
Bears are grossly misrepresented in the media. We like to present bears as big, cuddly creatures. They're not, they're fuckingterrifying. Have you ever watched "Grizzly Man?" That bear played the long game with Timothy Treadwell. It spent years earning his trust, then he ate the fucking guy. What about "The Revenant?" That's the movie where a bear mounts Leonardo DiCaprio and nearly fucked him to death. They are not creatures that you want to mess with. Except for this one. This particular beer seems pretty damn chill.
The owners of this store should play the lottery. They own a gas station; there's definitely a lottery machine. Trust me, I would know. Because 90% of the time, if a bear walks into a gas station, there's a chance that the gas station won't exist by the time he's through. I might be exaggerating here. We'll get some people in the comments saying, "You know, bears are some of the kindest creatures in the world. "Yeah, until you piss them off, then they'll eat your face for breakfast and chew your arms for lunch. Sorry, was that too morbid?
It is very amusing that this bear had the mindset of a stoned 18-year-old. Going to a gas station and snagging some candy was usually what I would do after tennis practice in high school. I wasn’t stoned, but when you’re that young and your metabolism rules, you can get away with eating whatever you want. I did a little research on this, and apparently, a drought is currently impacting berry crops in British Columbia. I’m not making that up. I guess that’s why this bear needed to steal a pack of 70-cent gummy bears. Good on you, man. That’s life in the wild. It’s hard out there for a pimp.