The Rules of Golf Are Meant To Be Taken Seriously #KirkWasRight

Look guys, golf is serious. Every round, no matter how small, should be played with the same level of seriousness as the final round of The Masters. No matter if you're having a relaxing 9 holes by yourself, a drunken Saturday afternoon round with the boys, or a 2 v 2 for content scramble sponsored by High Noon & Rhoback for a sports media company for the sake profit.

The rules of golf are clear. They're stringent and unforgiving. The rules are NOT stupid. As a matter of fact, nothing about golf is stupid. Not the cartoonishly large visors. Not having to dress up like it's Easter Sunday to drip buckets of sweat for 5 hours during the hottest part of the day. Not the 100 year old starter who runs the 1st tee like Guantanamo Bay. Not the fact that you can't walk in someone's line because it's going to somehow fuck up the green even though nobody has worn metal golf spikes in 500 years. Just take a look at the next green you walk on. You're not leaving a mark unless you're actively scuffing your feet and digging your heels into the ground. You're not affecting the line. Nope, that's not stupid whatsoever, and I certainly don't make a point of walking in my own line every time I play to make a weird passive aggressive point that nobody I'm playing with will pick up on but somehow makes me feel better because in my own little world I'm sticking it to golf hardos everywhere. I respect the game. And I have definitely never sworn off golf for years at a time because I was so incredibly annoyed by all those stupid, little serious, important rules.

If you don't respect the rules you deserve to be tarred, feathered and thrown in federal prison. Which is why I was disgusted at the behavior of everybody at the Writer Cup who opposed Kirk Minihane, star of Team Big Cat, when he simply enforced a rule. A rule that any self-respecting golfer would enforce.

As always, #KirkWasRight. As was 3-time major winner Padraig Harrington when he chimed in on the Writer Cup controversy that is sweeping the world of golf.

It's not up for debate. The rule makes perfect sense. If in a 2-man scramble, the first putter misses, he must wait to hole out until the second putter hits his putt. Reason being if the second putter knows that they're in for 5, he can take a more aggressive line and not have to worry so much about where he leaves his putt. It puts the second putter at a huge advantage if he knows a 3-putt is off the table. 

Now, an idiot might say, "but if the first putt is a literal inch away from the hole then there's no difference. Only an asshole would try to enforce that." But that way of thinking is why our country has gone to shit. Everyone wants to cut corners nowadays. "I can leave work just a few minutes early", "I can cut my workout short by 5 minutes", "I can just do a little bit of heroin and it won't turn into a full-blown relapse". "Sure he has some wacky ideas but what's the worst he could do as Chancellor?". That's you. That's every one of you rule breaking losers who aren't siding with Kirk. The rules are what make golf so great. If we all lived our lives like we were on a golf course, this is what society would look like.

But nope. Keep bending the rules guys. Keep letting the little things slide. Keep tapping tin hose 1 inch putts because "it doesn't really matter." What's the worst that could happen? Thank you Kirk. Thank you for standing up for what is right. You're an example to us all.

#KirkWasRight

 

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