THIS LEAGUE: The Knicks Are Suing The Raptors For Allegedly Stealing Their Scouting Reports Then Sharing Them With Toronto's Coaching Staff And Front Office
I didn't think I could feel better about the Knicks front office that finally got James Dolan to shut up, stole Jalen Brunson for a song from Dallas while millions of bozos thought they overpaid, and actually won a playoff series. But now that they have noted basketball genius Masai Ujiri's team looking over their shoulder and trying to copy off their tests roughly 3,000 times, I have no choice but to declare Leon Rose a fucking superstar considering the only teams that would copy the Knicks before he got here were teams that were looking to enter Basketball Purgatory where you had no shot at winning a championship or the number 1 pick, but instead settled directly into the mid wasteland of the NBA where you drafted around 8th every year.
As for the punishment, I think the Raptors would be wise just to offer OG Anunoby for Evan Fournier and a couple of second rounders so we can finally put all those trade rumors behind us and nobody has to hear Adam Silver attempt to use his angry dad voice. I guess the Raptors could try to fight these charges, but I imagine the lawyers the Knicks have at their disposal in New York would absolutely destroy whatever legal team the Raptors have in Toronto.
Actually do they even have lawyers in Canada? I always figured that every Canadian argument ended with both sides saying "sorrey", giving extra firm handshakes like hockey players after a playoff series, then sharing a few pints of strong Canadian beer. To be clear, I'm not criticizing that way of life because it's a significantly better than acting like a bunch of prep school pussies always threatening to sue each other. But if the Knicks lost a couple of 2nd round draft picks because Mark Cuban kicked and screamed that Jalen Brunson talked to his dad before leaving the Mavs who completely boned his negotiations for a solid year, stealing a team's actual scouting information should lead to a hammer dropping punishment.
If being forced to trade OG for straight up trash isn't allowed then the Knicks should be allowed to change the Raptors name to another dinosaur of their choosing, have any record of Frederic Weis being a Knick to be wiped from the NBA record since Vince Carter was Raptor when he ended that dude's career before it began by dunking over him, and a bunch of future draft picks that Leon can include in a package for Joel Embiid once he's sick of being a member of the Philadelphia Seventy Circus.
Those are my terms Adam Silver. Feel free to accept them because your predecessor would do whatever it takes to get the Knicks over the top now that they are finally showing life again.