Neymar's New Deal With Saudi Club Al-Hilal Gives Him A Private Plane, Mansion With Staff, An $87K Bonus For Every Win, And $500K For Every Post Promoting Saudi Arabia On Social Media

So Neymar signed with the Saudi side Al-Hilal and his benefits are bonkers. $500k for every positive post about The Kingdom? I'd throw up so much propaganda for $500k a post it would make your head spin. They'd have me looking like Floyd Mayweather out there after I fire off 50 posts a day. His Instagram story is going to look like LeBron's:

The bonus for social media posts being like 6 times the amount of an actual football win is pretty much all you need to know about Saudi football and sportswashing in general. Twitter account idea: you know how they tracked everywhere Elon's plane was until he got pissed? What if we tracked every Neymar pro-Saudi post and tallied up how much he made? 

The other stuff seems pretty standard. Mansion with staff? You better be offering that if he's making hundreds of millions for two years. And who doesn't have a PJ at their disposal? Portnoy had that once upon a time. Anyway, congrats to Neymar and like Dave has always said, if the Saudis want to come offer Barstool some money, I'd write some pro-Saudi blogs for about 1/100th of that price. My DMs are open!