I'm A Terrible Parent

My 13-year-old daughter has a handful of friends over and they are all sitting at my dining room table doing some sort of craft... I believe they are writing letters to another one of their friends who is away at a Jewish summer camp.  You see, my daughter's friend group does not discriminate on the basis of religion... They only shun people based on how much money their parents make.

While the letter-writing brigade was hard at work, my wife and I were sitting comfortably one room over in our den when my kid came in and asked if my oldest son could drive her and her friends to get ice cream.

My wife replied, "Sure… But will you need more than one car?" because she was not aware of just how many kids were in the next room.

And my daughter said, "No, we can just scooch in the back seat."

Once I heard that, I immediately yelled in an angry tone loud enough for her and her friends to hear, "Bridget!… Language!"

Here's how the rest of the conversation went…

Bridget- "What did I say wrong?"

Me- "Scooch is a very derogatory word."

My wife (playing along)- "It is?… What does it mean?"

Me- "When I was growing up, that's what people called Norwegians… My father once walked out of a restaurant because it was filled with scooches."

My wife- "Well, there's no way she would've known that, and I am sure she'll never say it again."

And off they went for ice cream.

Now, neither my wife nor I will ever tell my daughter that I made up that bullshit about the word "scooch"… I don't even know if there is a derogatory phrase for Norwegians because everyone seems to love those fish-eating reindeer-fuckers.

But since I planted that seed in both her AND her friends' little minds, I am giggly about the fact that they may FOREVER link that rarely-used word with something inappropriately hurled towards a certain group of Scandinavian people.

(Fucking racists.)

Take a report.

-Large