It's Nothing Short Of Impressive That Mark Wahlberg Found The Strength To Sell His Outrageous Beverly Hills Mansion That Features a Five Hole Golf Course, Basketball Court, 20 Bathrooms, And a Skate Park

I don't care what Gary V quote you throw at me, there's nothing you can do to convince this brain that money doesn't buy happiness. That's just categorically false. If you have enough money to sculpt a house similar to the likes of Mark Wahlberg's Beverly Hills mansion then you are happy. 

I mean look at this fucking thing. 

I'm not totally nuts about the interior, but we're talking a) full court basketball/tennis court 2) Five holes of golf d) gorgeous pool 4) peace and quiet. What more do you need? 20 bathrooms seems a tad outrageous, but when you have fuck you money it doesn't matter. I'm sure he's got some incredible secret rooms in there too that make watching sports, movies, and shows an absolute blast. Probably two or three kitchens for no reason whatsoever. Am I crying thinking about living in this beauty instead of my one bedroom apartment in crowded New York City? Maybe.

Let's talk about being the neighbor for a second. 

Sure you have yourself a solid home, but in reality you don't sniff what's next door. All you can do is put on a brave face and be friendly enough that you're invited over on occasion. In the event you wronged Mark at any point and didn't get that invitation well you're in luck now because you're about to get a second chance! Don't mess it up. 

The elevated tee box is a really nice touch. Preposterous, but nice. 

By far the biggest problem with living in this house is that I'd never want to leave. You get this house and you also acquire a one way ticket to being a hermit. Imagine leaving this fortress to go to the doctor or a dentist check up? Seeing family? Friends? It better be some incredible, shell-shocking encounter to get me to leave this property otherwise I ain't moving a muscle. How are you supposed to convince your kids to go to school when you live there? I assume Wahlberg has multiple homes and for that reason I wouldn't tell the kids we have this one. That's your man cave. When you're worth hundreds of millions of dollars you have mansions as man caves and not just a cool basement. 

That flip though. Buy it for $8.25M and sell for $55M? I'm sure that kind of money isn't life-changing for Mark, but that's a job well done no matter how you slice it. Still has to hurt to walk away from such a work of art. 

I do wonder how on Earth Wahlberg found enough time to truly enjoy this dream mansion when you factor in his daily schedule. 

Either this routine is a complete fabrication of his daily activities or that mansion was going to zero use. It's quite possible that's the reason he's selling. Either that or he got word the Big One is about to happen and California's arrival to the bottom of the Pacific is imminent. 

I need so much money.