Things I Don't Understand Volume 1: Electricity

This handsome young son of a bitch on the right is me dressed up as Ben Franklin for Halloween. Probably the only kid that has ever dressed up as him for that occasion. I want to do a series of blogs about things we see or use in our every day life but do not really understand how the fuck it actually works. People are too insecure and want to be smart and won't admit they don't know a lot of things, but thats what I am here for —to think about these stupid things and do no research at all. 

I was always fascinated on how electricity came about because Ben Franklin had to have been a moron. Nobody in there right mind wants to go and fly a kite for fun. If you are caught flying one in a park then either your girlfriend made you or you are on some type of drug. Think about how stupid the concept is, it's something flying in the air, but not really because you are the one controlling it with a piece of string running around the park like an asshole. Everyone is looking at the kite flyer just saying to themselves what a poor bastard. 

How did electricity come from a lighting strike hitting a key on a kite? That sounds so stupid typing it out. Why doesn't he get credit for the light bulb? If you ask anyone Thomas Edison gets all the credit for the lights in your house meanwhile fucking Ben got smoked by lighting. If there is no Ben, there are no lights. I just don't understand how he couldn't figure out electricity another way if he knew what lightning was. When we got hit by lightning did he stop his investigation and let someone else figure out the rest. I was a dumb kid once and figured out that if you put beans in saran wrap and throw it at a house, it ends up looking like the 4th of July with Beans exploding. You don't see me out there saying I should be on the $10 bill. 

I am just saying we don't appreciate light switches and lights enough. How does flipping a light switch just automatically turn a light on? I am almost certainly going to have some union bastard telling me what kind of wires go together to make it happen, but it really seems like magic. Like people complain about electricity bill all the time and you always know they are going to pay because you won't be able to fucking see. If you think about it, they should bump that shit up as high as they can because it has to be the best invention of all time. I will never understand electricity, but thank you Ben I really appreciate being able to see at night.