Apparently The Entire City Of Atlanta Thinks I'm A Little Bitch Just For Being Sensitive To Epilepsy
Okay maybe not the entire city and I don't have epilepsy but I'm still sensitive to it generally. In any case, a large number of Braves fans think I'm a little pussy ass bitch (their words) based on some light commentary I made on Tuesday's Starting 9 and that's just fine by me. I happen to very much like the Atlanta Braves and have staunchly supported their methods, fundamentals, infield play and 2-out hitting all season long. And all that stuff is On The Record fellas, no bullshit.
Even so - I understand such a body of work doesn't shield my character from routine misinterpretations. That's bound to happen when you throw 105 takes per start. Some of them are going to get blasted to Mars. Like bringing up the Braves blackout.
For reference:
I wanted to talk about it.
Let me preface all of this with a clear acknowledgment that even the mildest amounts of outside scorn towards Chelsea Dagger at the height of the Blackhawks Stanley Cup run would have been met with instinctual brute force. It wouldn't even be some collective conscious effort. Everyone would just hate your fucking guts so trust me, I get it:
And on it goes. I'm a bitch. The Cubs suck. Everyone owns real estate in my brain because I'm pathetic.
And all for describing the Braves game-operations team as "a little bush league" for blacking out the stadium during mid-inning pitching changes.
Sorry Dad but your raised a pussy
Which can be a weird dynamic when you call someone a pussy. Because sometimes it truly is a bounce back situation like I'm Rubber and you're Glue… like I'm soft for calling the move a little bush league. But I acknowledged that up front, which puts us in a grey area where calling me a pussy could actually mean you're the sensitive little pussy. Categorization means everything you guys.
For now just understand that the phrase a little bush league is merely 1 deviation on the bush league scale. That's the lowest you can register.
As a comparison, The Cubs away clubhouse - like the actual physical room the Cubs designate for opposing teams to use as a clubhouse - is like a solid 4 degrees on the bush league scale. That's full bush.
The White Sox calling out their entire division on April 6th is maybe 8 degrees.
The Braves blacking out the stadium in the 6th inning and then acting like they're Purdue basketball taking the floor against #1 University of Illinois is, again, a little bush league. Call it 1 degree.
And while I'm rolling, let me keep…
ROLLING.
More examples:
Oakland charging players at the vending machine. Extremely bush league. The Marlins promoting the last series of the year to Mets fans to cheer against the Braves… downright categorically bush. Almost as much as the Brewers giving away July tickets, free with the purchase of any Subway 12-inch. Or that one umpire calling 3 straight balks on a fuckin big leaguer the other day. And maybe #1 of all bush things on my mind could be the overwhelming number of adult San Francisco Giants fans that bring their gloves to the game to catch foul balls regardless of their section.
These are all very real bush league things.
A little bush league?
- The number of day games the Cubs continue to play is very sweet but admittedly a little bush
- Complaining about Aaron Judge not getting pitches to hit
- Not giving Aaron Judge pitches to hit
- Some St. Louis Cardinals fans, generally
- Swinging 3-0 up big, but not even really that much any more. FRINGE bush league.
- The Orioles moving the left field fence back 1,000 feet
- Marlins Man can actually get a little bush league believe it or not
- Commercials during pitching changes for your own team, bush
- Blacking out the stadium for a pitching change, just a little bush.
But some of that's kinda sweet.
It's all about perspective, which gives us a lot to argue about because they're all different. Such is nature.
That said, good to know Braves fans are so passionate about this ancient tradition. The beauty of how much people defend a baseball team cannot be understated. I'm not copying and pasting some of the responses, but a lot of them are calling me a crying whining little bitch that's afraid of a little epilepsy. Personally I understand where they're coming from but same time I still think it's just a little bush league.
And now that we've come this far, I suppose it's worth pointing out that I don't have an exact definition for Bush League. I know there's an element of smugness to being bush. I know it means taking an extra step to stand out. There could be some ego involved. Most often it involves a demonstration of excess in some form. Many think it represents being mean or unsportsmanlike but those people are wrong. It's more good-natured. More deserving of a laugh, like the guy who wears batting gloves while keeping an extra pair hanging out of his pockets despite hitting .230 on the season. That's so bush. Or my college teammate that used "This Is Why I'm Hot" as his walkout song despite being a modest looking human from Central Illinois. Like sluts, you just know it when you see it.
But it's also important to recognize that bush league has it's limits. There's such thing as Too Bush that ultimately transcends into more negative territory. Like if you're late to the field all the time. Or you don't hustle or consistently miss the cut-off man. That's not bush. That's just being a fuck. So it's definitely got a ceiling, which inherently limits bush league behavior to something that would fit into an old fashioned C'Mon Man segment.
So don't take it too personal if someone calls you a little bush league. If anything it's attention worthy and to that, I'm sure I'd be sucking the same proverbial skin if it was my team. But it's not and I still think it's a little bush.
Like does that happen if the Braves are down 3-0 in the 7th with 2-outs and a gutsy scoreless performance from the opposing starter? I got questions.
For now just take it easy everybody. You got a fine ball club. I've been pumping your tires since Dansby Swanson converted me in July.
For more Pro Braves banter, follow Starting 9 here:
And also because I'm in the mode, our latest episode is out now where we previews the Wild Card Series in detail including a gambling roundup with one of the sharpest MLB minds I know followed by a surprise guest appearance from a legendary Mets fan. It's not the primary focus of this blog but it would be nice to jump on the Starting 9 wagon for the net few weeks. Everyone is welcome at this party: