The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly From The 2022 Toy Hall Of Fame Finalists
AP- Voting opened Wednesday on which toys should go into the National Toy Hall of Fame this year. The class of 2022 finalists are: bingo, Breyer Horses, Catan, Lite-Brite, Nerf Toys, Masters of the Universe, piñata, Phase 10, Pound Puppies, Rack-O, Spirograph, and the Top.
The public is invited to vote online through Sept. 21. The three toys that receive the most public votes will make up a single “Player’s Choice” ballot. That ballot will be counted alongside those turned in by a national selection committee whose members include industry experts, academics and others. The inductees will be announced Nov. 10.
Back when Barstool was a proper blog, your boy KFC would do a full breakdown of the annual nominees for the Toy Hall Of Fame, which would be amongst my favorite reads of the year. Here is the blog for 2018's class that includes a bunch of the previous years.
However as Barstool has grown, we have slapped all of the finest takes in podcast form which usually results in someone publishing a blog with a YouTube video in it and maybe two lines of writing.
So here is this week's Podfathers!
Okay, I know people hate that type of #content and so do I. So here are my takes on this year's nominees, which we breakdown in much more detail on the podcast and vote in the best of the best.
On to my takes…
Bingo:
The first question on everyone's mind has to be "Is Bingo a toy or just a board game for Olds?". I personally think it can be considered a toy if all other games are toys, even though a toy for old people just feels weird to make an immortal in the Toy Hall of Fame.
However as someone that has crossed the threshold of being old, I can confirm that playing Bingo is about as much fun as you can have with the most minimal amount of brain power being used, which I see as an absolute win. Because of that, it gets my vote into the Toy Hall of Fame.
Also shout out Bingo from Bluey, who may be the most underrated character on TV today and I think my favorite character on the show.
Breyer Horses
If you had a sister or a friend with a sister, you probably saw these "toys". I put toys in quotes because this was more a statue that did nothing outside of give those girls something to hold as they neighed and made galloping noises. Much less of a toy than Bingo and a disgrace to the name Breyer, which usually makes high quality ice cream.
Obligatory clip from The Dozen:
Catan:
The only thing I know about Catan is that it always seems to be nominated to the Hall but never gets in and a ton of people tell me to play it whenever I talk about board games I like. The hardo part of my brain tells me that's a good reason to not vote it in. However, one person that told me about Catan back in the day was my coworker John Rich back before he was my coworker.
I think John is a swell guy and a great blogger. So because of that (and because I don't want to see it as a nominee anymore) I am voting in Catan.
Lite Brite:
Lite Brite seemed cool as shit as a kid and the song from the commercial was a banger.
But actually playing with Lite Brite sucked, the pegs always got lost, and it still grinds my gears til this day. Anybody that loved Lite Brite probably didn't play it or they are fancy art people that piss me off. Fuck Lite Brite, respectively.
Nerf:
Nerf changed the game by allowing you to throw or shoot balls in your house without having to worry about breaking windows. As a father to a lunatic son, you cannot put into words just how important that is.
The Turbo Football was a game changer, as was the Turbo Football with the whistle even if it felt like it broke your finger whenever you caught it in cold weather. Nerf basketball is always a crowd pleaser and the generation that grew up with the Nerf Bow & Arrow know that shit was the fucking BEST.
There are probably 1000 other Nerfs that make it worthy of The Hall but based on just those, it's a Yes for me.
He-Man:
Simply put He-Man fucking ruled and the toys were so good, Chaps has even forgiven the toys for getting twisted on his dick which caused an awkward visit to the ER with his uncle. There were a billion different figures that had fun quirks like a three headed dude that spun (shout out the awesomely Manny Faces) and Moss Man who had mossy underwear.
You also must pay homage to Castle Greyskull and the villain castle with the microphone that changed your voice being the centerpiece of every time you played toys, regardless of which figured you used.
Every episode of The Toys That Made Us on Netflix is a Must Watch but the He-Man one may hit the hardest for me since I was obsessed with him as a kid.
He-Man, the easiest of thumbs up ever.
Piñata:
Piñatas rule whether they are filled with candy for kids, booze for adults, or everything in between. I also understand that blindfolding idiot kids and having them swing a bat is preposterous. However, if you have a piñata at your party where the people pull strings instead of hit it in a bat, you should be placed in a giant piñata that your guests take swings at until it breaks.
I'm actually kind of amazed Portnoy never threatened anyone with this punishment, even though it would've been used as much as the giant bird cage in HQ2.
Anyway, piñatas are cool as is the fact the Barstool website won't melt down if I use the squiggly ñ here.
Phase 10:
I couldn't find a Phase 10 image in our archives so I put an Uno one in since Chaps said it probably is a poor man's Uno. My mom buys me this game every five years for Christmas followed by me saying I'm gonna play it. Then I go home, it goes directly on the pile of other Phase 10 games from Christmas past, and I forget it exists for another 5 years.
Still, it must be a decent game because Mama Clem is lowkey plugged in on the good stuff of life since she was like member 100 of both Amazon and Netflix. Wish she was stockholder 100 for either of those companies instead.
Sorry Phase 10, you don't get my vote.
Pound Puppies:
This feels like a nostalgia play and even though I didn't have a Pound Puppy, I always liked them. Not enough to buy one however, which was probably my parents doing since they didn't want it to be a gateway pet to getting a real dog. This seems extreme but I was also told my mom was allergic to cats and my dad was allergic to dogs growing up, which instantly killed the dream of the Clems having a pooch. To be honest it was probably for the best, because it would've just led to my parents doing all the work.
Where was I again? Oh yeah, Pound Puppies. They get my vote because stuff from the 80s makes me feel happy because it was at a time in my life when life was easy.
Fuck Lite Brite forever though.
Anyway, Pound Puppies…
Rack-O:
I never heard of Rack-O until it was nominated for the ToyHall of Fame, which is clearly no bueno. Large says it was basically playing math and organization, which means it fucking sucks. I hate Rack-O so much despite not seeing it that I had to include that incredible line from Veronica Vaughn to even stomach putting it in the blog.
Spirograph:
I don't know anybody that didn't love doing Spirographs as a kid. Easy yes from me.
The Top:
The Top is like the player from the 1910s that nobody has thought or cared about for eons but they do have a compelling case when you look back on it like Tungsten Arm O'Doyle. Tops were awesome when we had 10 brain cells as babies and I'm sure they were great back in the day.
Like I mentioned earlier, we go much more in depth on all these throwback toys, get an update from Large's time in Vegas, and I successfully reveal how to bribe your kids into rooting for your favorite baseball team (Spoiler: Go to a game and feed them tonsssss of food) on this week's Podfathers. Listen below and subscribe here.