Most Shocking, Disturbing Subplot From The Bills-Rams Season Opener: Cris Collinsworth Not Doing His Legendary Slide Into The Booth

Hey NBC, what the actual fuck is this? 

Cincinnati Bengals legend and broadcasting icon Cris Collinsworth isn't allowed to smoothly slink his wiry self into frame anymore? Is it because Al Michaels is gone? What's next, Carrie Underwood's iconic intro song is going to be cut from Sunday nights!? Actually, do us all a favor and please do that.

I'm distraught. People across the globe celebrate Collinsworth's silky maneuver. And you can tell every single time he does it, he's doing all he can not to burst out laughing, as is his broadcast partner, be it Michaels or Mike Tirico nowadays all the time.

When Collinsworth shirked the slide to kick off the preseason, I thought maybe it was an aberration.

Turns out, nope.

If you don't have an appreciation for the Collinsworth Slide, PMT did a whole-ass segment on this phenomenon when the former three-time Pro Bowl wide receiver (when Pro Bowls were actually something to be proud of) was on a while back. Well worth your time if you have fewer than 10 minutes to spare on a Friday.

Wondering if we need to fire up one of those Change dot org petitions to get the Collinsworth Slide back in action. 

The quality of that Bills-Rams game was pretty ass and would've been even worse if Josh Allen weren't a Greek god of gridiron greatness.

Twitter @MattFitz_gerald / TikTok…check my banger of a game recap below