Lighten the Fuck Up! If Jay Was Going to Live to 80, Would He Need to Make Lifestyle Changes?

Vindog 7/5/2022 6:40 PM

Giphy Images.

Jay's primary care doctor recently retired and that forced him to find a new one, which he did.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, Jay's new doctor said he was doing "fairly well for a man his age"… Having just turned forty-four in July, Jay was a little concerned about the doctor's comment and couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

The doctor said, "Not sure… I'll need to know more about your lifestyle…" Then he asked Jay, "Do you smoke tobacco, drink beer, wine, or hard liquor… or do drugs?"

"Oh no," Jay replied. "Never! I don't smoke, drink, or do any type of recreational drugs…"

The doctor moved on to his next question. "Do you eat rib-eye steaks, prime rib, or barbecued ribs?"

Jay replied, "Not very often, maybe twice a year. My former doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy…"

The doctor continued… "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun playing golf, boating, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," Jay responded. "Too much sun exposure is very unhealthy!"

The doctor had just one more question for Jay to determine if his lifestyle would help him live to be 80 or if he'd have to make changes… "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of casual sex?"

"No!" Jay replied proudly. "I don't gamble, I drive the speed limit, and I've never had sex with a stranger…"

After hearing the answer to his final question, the doctor turned toward Jay and in a serious tone he responded, "Based on your lifestyle, why do you even give a fuck?"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)

This is LTFU Joke #102!

There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing LTFU merch!

But don't take my word for it, here's markopolo's comment in LTFU Joke #98, "Lots of thumbs up and great comments when I wear your LTFU tee out in public."