Lighten the Fuck Up! All She Wanted Was Some Sexy New Pumps...

A young sexy woman went to the mall with her husband and spotted a pair of designer pumps in the window of an upscale shoe store and began staring, imagining how sexy she'd look wearing them…

The husband looked over and saw her and interrupted, "No fucking chance love, they're way too expensive! There's nothing wrong with the shoes you're wearing. Now, let's get going…"

Later that night, while the couple was in bed, under the sheets, with the lights out and the woman almost asleep, her husband placed his hands on her hips and edged closer, hoping to end his day with a little somethin'-somethin'…

She immediately turned towards him and interrupted, "No fucking chance love, if you're not willing to shoe the horse then you're not fucking riding it either!"                                                                                                                                                                                        

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and riding motorcycles since 1972)