If You Think the Will Smith Slap Was Real, I Have Some Beachfront Property in Nebraska to Sell You

I am truly baffled this morning. It seems Americans believe what transpired last night at The Oscars was real.

I spent an hour going to war in the Macrodosing group chat last night and have found myself doing the same in the Barstool Sports office on this fine Monday morning. There are really people who think Will Smith heard a joke his wife didn't like, walked right up to Chris Rock in front of millions of live witnesses and slapped him in the face.

Allow me to present just a few points for consideration here.

Firstly, the reason this would be fake at all: The Oscars have been a ratings disaster for the better part of a decade. Every year, the Monday coverage is that of yet another increasingly bad flop for what is supposed to be the night of nights in Hollywood and an indictment on how Los Angeles is more out of tune with the rest of America than ever before. Clearly, that's not what anyone is talking about today. I don't even remember the last moment like this — at least in entertainment, sports, etc. — that literally everyone was exclusively talking about.

If you accept the premise that it's fake for a second, The Academy also knew Smith was going back up on that stage 15 minutes later, right after everyone turned the show on. We don't have the numbers yet, but I'd imagine the peak ratings last night occurred right around that time and were much higher than anything The Oscars have had in recent years. How convenient.

But let's just say we think this is real. I've seen the argument that Smith simply, "Lost it in the moment," and did something crazy. Did anybody watch the clip? He took a 90-second walk up to the stage. He had to get up from his seat, walk all the way up there and then stand in front of Chris Rock and slap him across the face. The "moment" had long passed.

And finally, the part of this I can't believe everyone seems to be glossing over. The person we're talking about here literally received an award after this incident for being the best actor of all the actors. I actually received a text message from a Barstool employee last night which read, "If that wasn't real, that's the best acting I've ever seen." Uhhh yeah, it's a room very notably full of all the best people in the world at acting. That's why they're there.

Kudos to The Academy, man. I don't know how they did it, but they seem to have successfully pulled off one of the greatest stunts in the history of show business. Well done to everyone involved.