Little Debbie Is Moving On To Murdering The Frozen Food Section Of The Grocery Store By Releasing Ice Creams Of All Her Snacks
Let's go live to the Frozen Food section of Wal Mart to see what's going down...
Someone say a prayer for Edy, Mr. Haagen Dazs, the Breyers family, Ben, AND Jerry because the bitch in the bonnet is heading to the freezer section and she's coming for blood. I mean how are those old brands going to keep up with that collection of new ice creams flooding the market while also probably undercutting the fuck out of the price like Debbie did in the snack cake section where you can get like four boxes of Little Debbies for the price of one box of Ring Dings?
Debbie could've tried to win the Ice Cream Wars by releasing an Oatmeal Creme Pies ice cream along with Cosmic Brownies and Zebra Cakes to pair perfectly with your frozen One Bite Pizza. But instead she unloaded the whole Little Debbie's clip on these poor unsuspecting brands. We shouldn't be shocked though because she already dropped a nuke by releasing the most delicious Little Debbie concoction around Christmas time.
Now like everything else in life, we don't know how good these ice creams are until they're released. But once that happens, I will review each and every one of them on the Barstool Grown Up YouTube not because I want to for myself but because I have to for the Stoolies (also because I want to).
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BONUS: My Top 5 Little Debbie's Snacks
5. Cosmic Brownies
4. Zebra Cakes
3. Nutty Bars
2. Oatmeal Creme Pies
1. Christmas Tree Cakes
I know this will be a very controversial list since everyone feels strongly about their Little Debbie's snacks, but I will now waver on Christmas Tree Cakes being the best treat that Debbie sells. They fit in seamlessly during the most wonderful time of the year and despite being a couple bucks, class up any Christmas dessert spread.
Cosmic Brownies are good but back in the day some other snack brands made better packaged brownies and I can't shake that they slacked back then. Zebra Cakes are essentially regular season Christmas Cakes. I love pretty much anything that combines peanut butter and chocolate. Throwing all of that on a wafer is a layup since the wafer has become underutilized in desserts during the 21st century. Finally Oatmeal Creme Pies are my Little Debbie's gateway snack that introduced me to the brand, so they'll always have a place in my heart that probably wishes I had never been introduced to the brand.
Star Crunch is in the Also Received Votes section of my Top 5 but they can be hit or miss.