Mark Zuckerberg Having Random Bottles Of Sweet Baby Rays Around His Home Proves That He's A True BBQ Boy
Is he a robot? Is he a lizard person? Is he a tyrannical czar who is actively contributing to the downfall of society and frying people's brains into mush?
Perhaps, perhaps not. But do you want to know what Mark Zuckerberg truly is down to his very core?
A dude who just loves himself some barbecue. A full blown BBQ Boy. A meat man. Smoked meats for the squad.
I mean you don't just have random bottles of Sweet Baby Rays laying around your house as decoration unless you're all on board the meat train. And I know there are going to be a ton of barbecue hardos out there who say shit like Sweet Baby Rays stinks, or that you don't even need sauce at all if you're having good BBQ. But they can all shut up. Because 1) SBR is actually decent even if they're corporate, and 2) some people just love to get lost in the sauce. And it's about damn time that we just start letting people enjoy the things that they enjoy without constantly feeling the need to shit on them for it.
The Zuck Man might scare the shit out of me because I'm still not totally sure if he's human or not. But anybody who loves barbecue that much is a friend of mine. I've said it before and I'll say it again--the top item on my bucket list is to smoke a brisket with Mark Zuckerberg. Mainly so I can get into his inner-friend circle and never have to worry about paying for anything again. But also because he seems like a guy who genuinely loves that shit, and that's a fella I can drink some beers and spend 12 hours with any day of the week.
So I know you're reading this right now, Zuck Dawg. Have your people call my people. Let's make it happen.
P.S. - Speaking of all this barbecue, here's my current situation today: