Kim Jong-un Is Getting A Global Peace Award So Everyone Can Shut Up Now

Telegraph – North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is no stranger to dubious accolades and has already been crowned Supreme Military Commander, National Defence Chairman and First Secretary of the Worker’s Party.

This week, it emerged that Mr Kim is to receive yet another prestigious title – though for once it has not been bestowed by the North Korean state. Instead he is in line for an international award extolling his “peace, justice and humanity” thanks to an Indonesian charity.

It is the second unusual award to be bestowed upon the North Korean leader, who was crowned TIME magazine’s Person of the Year in 2012 after the public vote was hijacked by internet pranksters.

You see? Kim Jong-un ain’t a bad dude. He’s probably just misunderstood, that’s all. For years now all we’ve been hearing about is Kim Jong-un did this, Kim Jong-un killed that, yada yada yada. Well would a psychotic looney tune whose favorite hobby of all time is execution be receiving a title for WORLD PEACE? No? I didn’t think so.

So Kimmy J probably killed a turtle farmer because he wasn’t breeding enough robster. So he executed the North Korean Defense Minister with an anti-aircraft gun for falling asleep during a meeting. So he supposedly said he wants to wipe out America during Korean War anniversary celebrations (yeah, let’s actually just blow North Korea up right now before I even finish writing this blog). Do people forget that he has created the most potent Viagra pill of all time and has also found the cure for AIDS? Because where I come from, having the best boner on the block is more important than some shit dick Defense Minister’s life. So good for you, Kimbo. I’m glad he’s finally getting the respect around here that he deserves. The man doesn’t poop or pee for Christ’s sake. You think he wouldn’t have to work his ass off day in and day out to get a little World Peace Prize every now and then.

Obligatory because it never gets old.