Barstool Confessions

In an unusual act of unselfishness, Feitelberg is allowing Dante and me to alternate weeks collecting confessions from deprived Stoolies when he and Chaps don't post... So we immediately asked Trig to draw us up a logo that was sufficiently sacrilegious...

I'll go first…

Like every other teenage boy, I had a masturbation sock that I hid under my bed in between "dates."

Unlike everyone else (and in a subtle nod to my non-existent Native American heritage), I called mine THE DREAM-CATCHER, and my mantra before every session became…

Anything you need to get either off your chest or from under your bed?… The comments are open.

Two Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and slip a 20 in the collection box on the way out… All is forgiven.

-Large