Bowling A 299 Is Quite Literally The Worst Thing That Can Happen To You As A Person
Heavens to Betsy I honestly feel like I just got dumped by a high school girlfriend. There’s a pit in the bottom of my stomach and I just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry while From Under The Cork Tree plays on repeat. I’m devastated. Don’t even know the guy and I want to give him a hug.
Best part of the video is the drama. I was expecting a split or someone to throw the ball through the ceiling or some of the more immature content that pervades the bowling industry on social media. But no. It’s a quiet, soft, subtle blow to the balls. You don’t even realize the pain until the screen flashes 299. And what the fuck is with that anyways? Who throws a custom celebration for a 299. That has to be the emptiest feeling in sports. The closest you can be to glory while also failing epically. I’d rather blow a perfect game in front of James Joyce in a game 7 than drop a 299 on league night at diversey river bowl. That pain and agony follows you forever. It’s squarely on your shoulders.
Shoutout to all the 299’s out there. You guys deserve a shoulder to cry on. I’m definitely not that guy but just want you to know I’m thinking about you. Even if you suck at finishing the job.