I'm Petrified The Cole Hamels Deal Will End Up Being A Disaster Of Biblical Proportions

Biblical.

Here is what we got for our boy Cole. All scouting reports courtesy of NJ.com because, you know, I’m a lowlife blogger, not a professional scout in the show-

Alec Asher, P, #29 ranked prospect in Rangers‘ system:

Asher can reach 96 mph with his fastball and back it up with a hard slider at his best, but his stuff dipped somewhat in 2014. He worked mostly at 89-93 mph with an average slider. His changeup remained a reliable third pitch and he continued to use a curveball to give hitters a different look.

Jered Eickhoff, P, #17 ranked prospect in Rangers’ system:

Eickhoff’s sturdy frame and heavy sinker got him paid a $150,000 bonus as a 15th-rounder out of Olney Central (Ill.) JC in 2011. He has added velocity and made steady progress, reaching Double-A in his second full pro season and leading the Texas League with 144 strikeouts in 2014. Eickhoff quickly moved up to Triple-A in 2015 and was included in the group of prospects the Phillies acquired from the Rangers in return for Cole Hamels.

Nick Williams, OF, #5 ranked prospect in Rangers’ system:

Jorge Alfaro, C, #6 ranked prospect in Rangers’ system:

Alfaro has the strength and bat speed to drive balls out of any part of any ballpark without selling out for power, yet he’s still overly aggressive at the plate. He swings and misses frequently, and he needs to do a better job of taking pitches and recognizing breaking balls. If he figures it out, he could be an average hitter with 20-plus homers per season in the big leagues.

On pure ability, Williams could have been a first-round pick in the 2012 Draft. But he had an enigmatic high school career, allowing the Rangers to sign him in the second round for a slightly below-slot $500,000. Their system features several high-ceiling position players, and he has been the most consistently productive of the bunch. Williams was turning in perhaps the best season of his career when he was included as part of the package sent to Philadelphia in return for Cole Hamels.

Jake Thompson, P, #4 ranked prospect in Rangers’ system:

Thompson’s stuff picked up after the deal and he rated as Texas’ best starting pitching prospect when he was included as part of the package sent to Philadelphia in the Cole Hamels deal.

Thompson usually throws his fastball at 90-93 mph, peaking at 95 and featuring sinking life. That’s not even his best weapon, however, as that distinction belongs to a slider that can reach 87 mph with depth and qualify as a true wipeout pitch at times. He also uses a curveball and changeup, both of which show flashes of becoming solid-or-better offerings.

OK. There are reports the Phillies could, and should, have gotten more for the 4th best WAR pitcher in franchise history (the 3 ahead of Hamels are all in Cooperstown). There are also reports the Rangers got absolutely SWINDLED in this deal and Ruben Amaro may have fell assbackwards into another year with the team. The Phillies did take 3 of their top 5 and 5 of their top 20 prospects, plus a half decent/salary dump of an arm in Matt Harrison. Honestly, I’m just happy they got something for Cole before his wing fell clear off his body. The LAST thing this squad needed is to hold him out for another year and have a Cliff Lee situation where Cole is a $22 million professional Call Of Duty master. However, as a Phillies fan, I’m used to getting absolutely sauced, especially in trades and evaluating talent. Sure, there were some winners in Halladay, Lee (twice) and Brad Lidge. But then there’s dropping a huge load for Pence then giving him away for peanuts a year later. The Victorino trade which we basically dumped him for nothing. Letting Brandon Moss, who would be the Phillies most productive outfielder BY FAR right now, walk away cause nobody thinks he could hit a fastball. Allowing Dom Brown to still be breathing. And that’s not even counting the “Blockbuster” deals that have been done in the past 20 years that did not work out one bit.

Scott Rolen was dished to the Cardinals (where he won a ring, of course) for Plácido Polanco, Mike Timlin, and Bud Smith. Polanco only ended up staying a couple years when he was traded to the Tigers for Ugeth Urbina (who still may be in a Venezuelan prison, I don’t know). He ultimately living out his golden years with the Phillies while not even being able to lift a bat let alone swing the damn stick. Timlin and Smith were both washouts with the Phils.

Then remember the Curt Schilling trade? Let me refresh your memory. Schilling, an outright ACE, was traded to the Arizona Diamondbacks where he won a ring and then went to Boston to win two more to wrap up a borderline HOF career. What did we get in return? These four champions of chumps: Omar Daal, Nelson Figeroua, Vicente Padilla and Travis Lee. All four weren’t worth their weight in shit.

Now, what do these trades have in common with the Cole Hamels deal? I really don’t know. All I do know is I’m scared, yet hopeful. Say 3 of these cats become viable starters and 1 becomes an regular all-star, I’d say that’s definitely a win in the end. Combine JP Crawford, Franco, Nola and Ken Giles and we’ve got ourselves a nice little young core to build around. The wheels are finally (two years too late) in motion for a rebuild, and we have no choice but to hop on for the ride.

I’m warming up to this team.