This Guy Grabbing His Dick Is No Longer Philadelphia's Problem

Good riddance. I mean, you can’t knock Johnathan Papelbon’s talent. The dude pitched maybe once a week because the Phillies suck out loud and STILL became the club’s all-time saves leader. If he were a part of that magical run from ’07-’11 his douchebag antics would possibly be considered charming. But that wasn’t the case, and I for one am happy to at least just dump his salary and get something in return before his wing falls off.

Now what did we in return for the closer formerly known as Papsmear? Minor league starting pitcher Nick Pivetta, a 21-year-old Canadian who is currently 0-2 with a 7.20 ERA in AA. He’s struggled, no doubt, but his stats are 6’5, 220lbs with a mid-90’s fastball. He might work out, he might not. But I’d rather take a chance on this firethrowing Canuck than trot out the Lord Of The Douche for another wasted inning.

Regardless, it’s the Phillies. All we can do is hope for the best but expect the worst. And by that I mean I can’t wait to see Papelbon (and Werth with former Phillie Gio Gonzalez) win a ring while Pivetta dies alone in AA. I hate this team.