Recapping The Weirdest Day In NBA Free Agency, The DeAndre Jordan Emoji Day

Well that was a hell of a day. It started with the Emoji war which, like most things on the internet, was funny for about 30 minutes then quickly became overkill and annoying. Guys like Schefty chiming in 2 hours too late, making everyone roll their eyes.

Poor Tony, always the bridesmaid never the bride.

Then came the “intervention” by everyone who has ever been associated with the Clippers including Paul Pierce, who has never even played with DeAndre Jordan.

As well as Blake Griffin tweeting out a couple of very well played pictures from google image that set the world on fire.

Then Chris Paul lied to DeAndre Jordan’s face. Because the 30 year old guy that has never been to an NBA Final and is notoriously hard on teammates is TOTALLY going to change over night.

Then a card game broke out

You think they let Ballmer play or he had to go home? I bet he had to go home. Not because they think he’s a loser, simply because you HAVE to let DeAndre Jordan win at that game and my guess is Steve Ballmer doesn’t have a great poker face. Just a hunch.

Meanwhile, Mark Cuban was driving around Houston crying into his steering wheel, looking for DeAndre Jordan’s house.

Although his brother quickly refuted that and told Broussard to STFU. Maybe my favorite moment of the night.

Oh and while this was all going on the Hornets were like now is the perfect time to sign Jeremy Lin without anyone fully realizing until morning.

And finally DeAndre signed.

Topped off with a perfectly self aware Paul Pierce clip art emoji to put a bookend on the day.

And that just about sums all of that up. This is what sports are in July 2015. You have baseball getting ready for the All-Star break, football camp a few weeks away, and this, NBA free agency going completely off the rails. DeAndre Jordan agreeing to sign with the Mavs because he felt slighted by the Clippers, only to have the Clippers show up at his house and tell him that they love him and really care. All he ever wanted was a hug.

The biggest loser in all of this has to be Mark Cuban. Normally I would say these things happen. Anyone who has ever done business knows if it isn’t signed on paper then it doesn’t count. But even with that said Mark Cuban is a Shark, he’s a master negotiator, a guy who thrives in these situations, and he wasn’t able to close the deal. Not saying he would have had more sucess if he had purchased 10% of my brain last year but he didn’t sign DeAndre Jordan without my brain involved so what’s the worst that could happen if I had been in his war room (car, crying our way around Houston) last night? Think about it Cubes, think about it.

PS

If you’re Cuban, your only response is to get in front of the world and recreate the Jimmy C speech. I fucked up, I took Wesley Matthews and Dirk Nowitzki, they’re not bad. DeAndre Jordan still had feelings for the Clippers, I fucked up.

On second thought, this may only impress me and a handful of people.