Getting Verified On Tinder Would Be Like Fishing With Dynamite (I Need To Get Verified on Tinder)

TNW - Tinder has announced it’s introducing verified profiles – a blue tick like you’ve come to expect on Twitter or Facebook – to ensure the people you’re swiping through are legit. Initially, the verified badges will be going to notable figures, celebrities and athletes, so you’ll know that if a well-known face shows up during your desperate swiping, they’re actually the real deal.  Tinder says 26 million matches are made on the service every day, so the chances of you stumbling across someone famous and fanciable isn’t exactly huge. Just as ‘verified’ status spread further than the initial select few on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Vine, I’d expect to see Tinder’s ‘Verified’ program coming to more people in the future. Right now, there’s no public way of requesting the blue tick for yourself. Presumably, if you’re famous enough, Tinder will come to you.

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Look, I’m a nobody. But in the Tinder world, I have to be a somebody. Have to be. The unfortunate thing about being a blogger on this site is only dudes recognize you. Out at bars, only guys say hi. Girls have zero clue and give zero fucks about a short ugly blogger from a smut/sports website. And if you think I know how to approach a girl HAHAHA, good one. Classic. Which is why I need this checkmark more than I need air to breathe. Because girls get wet for famous people. That checkmark is a direct path to Breezyville. Imagine if girls thought I mattered? Sure I would still find a way to fuck it up, but I’d have so many more chances to fuck it up. And maybe one time I would trip and fall into a soft 6 with Blind Mike’s eyes and Smitty’s decision making. So Tinder, I know you’re out there, hook me up with a verification. It’s my Make-A-Wish if you will.