It Took Tom Brady 8 Wins in Tampa to Get His Image on Florida License Plates

It was never a matter of whether the government in the state of Florida was going to give Tom Brady the official recognition he deserves. It was simply a matter of when and how. Would they wait until he led the Buccaneers to the playoffs for the first time since 2007? Won their first postseason game since the Super Bowl in 2002? Or would they not wait at all? And in what form would his Favored Son status take? Would they build a statue? Give him Righteous Among the Nations status like Israel did for Oskar Schindler? Put him on the back of the Florida quarter? Put him on the state flag, perhaps? Do what I always suggested when he was in Massachusetts, declare Writ of Prima Noctae so he could have first dibs on all new brides, thereby populating our schools with a generations of superior quarterbacks? 

Well we finally have our answer. He's been in Florida for about nine months. He's led the Bucs to an 8-5 record and an all but certain Wild Card berth. And that was enough to get him the unique status that only goes to those rare individuals who are deemed License Plate Worthy. 

I've always seen individual athletic honors as a pyramid that starts out with making your All Star Team, works up to seasonal awards like MVP, Cy Young or DPOTY, narrows down to Hall of Fame induction, then getting your number retired, and ends with Statue Worthiness. To my knowledge Brady is not just the first athlete to get his face on a license plate, he's one of the few individuals ever to be so honored. Beyond him the only other guys I can think of to ever do so are Lincoln in Illinois and the Mount Rushmore crew in South Dakota. (Making Lincoln the license plate version of Stevie Nicks getting in the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame for her solo work and as part of Fleetwood Mac.) I'd say it's the least the state can do. 

Which begs the question, where the hell was this in Massachusetts for the last 20 years? While I'll concede this is technically a Best Buddies plate and the Commonwealth has plenty of these, let's have an adult discussion and admit that Brady's image is the draw. And if this was ever offered up here, I for one would've been first in line at the Registry. I'd have been all over the road, cutting off cars with New York plates without blinkering, tailgating and passing on the right like the out and proud Bradysexual that I am. Make that was. And will be again. 

This is the treatment he's being afforded in a state where he's only been for months. And staying in a rental, no less. They're paying homage to him and his favorite charity in one of the most high profile ways imaginable. What did he and Best Buddies get when they were here? Scathing and salacious hatchet pieces in John Henry's Boston Globe, that's what. 

Followed by another hit piece when Globe photographers were sent packing at his next event. 

Down there, they're giving him the Lincoln treatment that he deserves. Serves us right for not doing it first.