This Chick's 'Taken'-Inspired Tinder Bio Is A Home Run And Might Make It Move

Call me simple minded if you must but if you give me a chick with a nice body bent over on a bed in a tanktop that’s an American flag changing one of the finest quotes from Liam Neesons into something about fucking my brains out, that’s got to be the finest profile on all of Tinder. If Ciella’s not married by this weekend I’m collectively disappointed in all of us.

So yesterday was a dumpster fire of a day for the site so I decided to try something new and turn to a company whose servers might actually work and posted the blog on my Snapchat (follow @chrisspags if you care to). The lack of word space was kind of a bitch but I think they still came out pretty well. And I also threw in some bonus ones down at the bottom because I care. We’ll regroup next week for a pre-4th of July barnburner so send me your screenshots on Twitter (DMs are open for your confidentiality) and let’s FUCKING GO.

And a few bonus ones…

That bikini has to be the equivalent of Raid traps for fuckbois…and regular boys…and any boys with eyesight equivalent to Blind Mike’s or better (via nc)

This week’s reminder of who you’re competing with out there…actually who I am I kidding, 99% chance this kid is one of you (via Erin)

Hello Kitty pajamas or you can gtfo, a line has to be drawn somewhere (via po)

DANGER ZONE (via @dooz)

And this week’s NSFW cherry on top is a sweet lil gal just looking for a starving boy to dine at the Y. Send me your screenshots on Twitter and happy swiping!