Kaylee Hartung Ruins TCU No Hitter

OmahaOpen up Twitter and type “Kaylee Hartung” into the search field. Watch the venomous tweets fill up the screen.

Hartung, an ESPN sideline reporter, broke baseball’s superstitious-based code Tuesday night — you know, the part where you can’t talk about the thing that happens when a pitcher is throwing really well, so well in fact that the opposing team has only reached base because of a passed ball, an error and a walk. And TCU fans freaked out.

Here’s a quick recap:

TCU starting pitcher Alex Young just completed the top of the sixth. He still hadn’t allowed a hit. Heading into the bottom of the sixth, ESPN returns from commercial break with Hartung interviewing coach Jim Schlossnagle.

Hartung: “… And knock on wood for TCU fans, a no-hitter for Alex Young through six. Coach Jim Schlossnagle, how do you explain his efficiency thus far?”

Schlossnagle couldn’t help but roll his eyes right when the audacious Hartung spoke of the potential achievement — sort of the reaction you’d expect if she had spoiled a kid’s surprise birthday party or offered a fashion critique about the way his hairstyle accents the team’s uniform choice.

Schlossnagle: “I can’t believe you just said that.”

ONE MINUTE LATER

Four pitches into the seventh inning, Vanderbilt’s Zander Wiel broke a 0-0 tie with a solo home run to left field, what ultimately proved to be the game-winner in a 1-0 victory.

Kaylee Hartung. Perfect in every single possible way.

At least I used to think so. Turns out she’s got one tiny flaw, and it’s single handedly taking a no hitter away from TCU pitcher Alex Young and personally ruining what could have been the greatest memory of his baseball career. Probably goes into a deep dark depression after this and quits the sport altogether and ends up pumping gas then going home to an empty house and watching game show reruns all night while eating a TV dinner on a fold up table and drinking himself to death. But don’t worry about it Kaylee, not a big deal, it’s just baseball.

Just goes to show no matter how beautiful and talented you are and how badly I want to date you, you’re still not above baseball magic. Talk about a no hitter = instant jinx, every time, 100% of the time.

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