Pro Tip: Rubbing Fire Ants All Over Your Dick Is Not A Great Move (But It Is Hysterical)

I have maybe a crazy theory, could this be some form of Asian penis enlargement? Was that his move here, get a bunch of fire ant bites and it swells up to huge/still less than normal sizes? Because this, this is not a good look…

If you’ve got a dot so tiny that I thought it was just something on my screen covering up your pecker, then you’re got to go to extreme lengths to try and get it bigger. Order those pills advertised on porn sites, hang weights from it, buy horny goat weed from gas stations, let a colony of fire ants eat it, whatever. You’ve got to do everything you can. And yeah, I admit that this sounds like a crazy theory, but Asians do crazy shit. They eat powdered sea horse for virility, stab themselves with needles to heal pain, and drink three penis wine (that’s real btw, not just from The League) for virility (a lot of their stuff has to do with their dicks)… is letting ants eat your cock so hard to believe? Might be crazy like a fox. But, if I may, allow me to save you some pain next time, dude. Just save that fucking bush. Bang, even a mini tree looks tall in trimmed grass.