Bro Gets Hammered As Hell, Breaks Into Neighbor's House In Nothing But His Boxers Looking For Drunk Munchies

Indy – A Greenwood man was arrested Sunday morning for allegedly drunkenly entering someone’s house in only his boxer shorts.

A Greenwood resident called police to his home at 3:14 a.m. Sunday after waking up while sleeping on his couch to a man “standing in his living room, in nothing but his underwear, eating his chips.”

The resident told police the man was incoherent.

Police eventually found the suspect, identified as 19-year-old Andrew Wozniak, walking down the street nearby in only his boxer shorts.

A portable breath test showed Wozniak had a BrAC of .106, although he denied he had been drinking.

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I blame the mom here first and foremost. You have a 19 year old son at home for the summer and you don’t have any snacks in the house? You made him resort to breaking into the neighbor’s for some munchies? What are you out of your mind? Should have a nice little chat with Child Services while he’s locked up, explain to them how he comes from a home that doesn’t even have any Doritos in the cupboard for when he gets back from a night out crushing Red Bull Vodkas with his boys. Pizza Rolls, Bagel Bites, Elios Pizza in the freezer, none of that is too much to ask, it’s kind of expected to be honest, and you don’t even have one single bag of potato chips to offer. It’s people like this that shouldn’t even be allowed to procreate IMO.

Bottom line is there’s nothing in the world worse than being high as hell or hammered drunk and not having access to any food, so I don’t blame this bro for getting a little testy in the clink.

While being transported to Johnson County Jail, Wozniak allegedly asked several times why he was being arrested, and could not remember the answer each time. He also allegedly told the arresting officer he was going to get his name “out to his boys.”

Wozniak was transported to Johnson Memorial Hospital for assessment. Police said he became extremely belligerent there – yelling profanities at doctors at one point allegedly telling officers, “I’m going to snap both of you at the same time.”

That’s just to be expected really.