Andy Dalton's Pump Up Speech From Yesterday Is Just About The Saddest Thing I've Ever Seen

Cut him. Gotta cut him right now. Or at least stop letting him get the guys riled up. Honestly, what in the fuck was that? “Let’s go out there and have some fun and play together”?! Are you KIDDING me Andy? That sounds like something our coach used to tell us in soccer when our team names were colors and there weren’t goalies in the mini nets. “Ok gang, go out there and have some fun then come on back here for some oranges and juice boxes!” Jesus, Andy. If I were on that squad I probably would’ve refused to play until someone with some barritone in their voice got out there and took my to chuuuch.

If the Bengals don’t want to cut Dalton then they at least need to sign someone from the late 90’s U. Best pre-games ever. I’m sitting at my desk right now and I’m confident I’m amped up enough to take the field in an NFL playoff game. HIT STICK, BUST DICK, TALK SHIT! TALK SHIT! I AM THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW! MURDER, MURDER, MURDERRRRRRRRR!!!!