This Absurdly Jacked Kangaroo Crushing Metal Trash Cans Can Get The Fuck Out Of My Face And Do It Now

Mashable – Roger, who resides at the Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, stands two-metres tall with a weight of 89 kilograms. His pectorals are impressive, to say the least.

Found as an orphan joey around eight years ago by Chris Brolga, the star of television show Kangaroo Dundee, Roger has been raised at the sanctuary. Roaming 50 acres and grazing on hay, grass and grain, this guy likes to kick box and crush metal buckets for fun.

He’s pretty strong and fights other kangaroos from time to time, she added. He will sometimes make a run at Brolga [another jacked kangaroo] because they’re the same height and he sees him as competition, [Kangaroo Sanctuary worker Tahnee] Barns said.

Every summer I find myself struggling to stay in something resembling socially acceptable shape because the combination of binge drinking and being on the go a lot doesn’t really lend itself to not turning into a soft, jelly-filled mess. For me that means being self-loathing enough to wake up an hour early, sprint on a treadmill like a shithead while listening to upbeat pop songs (I’m really glad Magic! got one more shot at fame after “Rude”), then be miserable all day because I’m kind of tired and want to carb up but can’t. Meanwhile this shithead is just genetically blessed as hell, ripped to shreds with perfectly symmetrical muscles like some sort of kangaroo Taye Diggs and he has to rub our faces in it by smashing a huge metal garbage can, too? I’d have a stern thing or two to say to this kangaroo if Streets of Rage didn’t teach me that kangaroos are badass street warriors, particularly if clad in boxing trunks and gloves:

Either way, I guess me and this kangaroo can be #fitfam together.

See you on the stairmaster, fuckboy.