This Rat Is Better Than You

And has a cooler name than you, too. Magawa is an African Giant Pouched Rat and has detected 39 landmines and 28 unexploded bombs over his career, which began at just nine months old. What the fuck have you done?

Landmines and other bombs are a huge problem in Cambodia and people are regularly maimed and killed by them. Rats actually have an incredible sense of smell and are too light to set off the pressure switches, making them perfect candidates for this work. Magawa, who is seven years old, has done such a great job he even got a medal!

Looks at that fuckin guy, so proud of himself, and rightfully so. What he can do in half an hour would take a human being up to four days. After almost seven years of hunting down bombs he is about to be retired, and you can actually adopt him! 

I don't know about you, but I'd be intimidated as fuck to have Magawa in my house. I'd be talking about cool shit I did as a dog handler and then Magawa would take a long drag from his cigarette and say something like, "That's fucking cute, bitch boy, in Cambodia we did that before breakfast." 

Figuratively. You don't rate to have this rat. Boot.