We Found The Next Great Sports Broadcaster Commentating This Baby Alligator vs Bobcat Backyard Brawl
First of all--yes, I feel bad for that baby alligator. But you know what? Alligators belong in the swamp, not in people's backyards. Same way I can never fault a shark for attacking a human. As soon as you leave your domain and go someplace where you're not supposed to be, bad things are bound to happen. So blame it on this alligator's shitty parents.
Second of all--yes, this dude sucked at calling that fight. It was just all "ooooh" and "shit". A very limited vocabulary going on there (thanks, Florida education system). But maybe that's what we need every once in a while. I'm sick and tired of all these great broadcasters being so polished. I'm sick and tired of them always knowing the perfect thing to say. Sometimes I just want a guy calling a game like he's my buddy sitting on the stool next to me at the bar. Just put an idiot on the mic for me one time. Let him fuck up the pronunciation of names. Let him spout off a bunch of takes that you know aren't based on any sort of knowledge or research. I love Al Michaels and Doc Emrick just as much as the next guy, but let's just see what happens when we pair them in the broadcasting booth with someone whose instinctual reaction to nearly every play is "oh shit". Could be magic.