Canadian's Terroristic Plot to Blow Up a Long Island Park Thwarted By PETA

A man on Long Island is being hailed a hero after saving dozens of park goers and countless Geese from a suicide bomber.  John DiLeonardo, a Baldwin man, and suspiciously a member of PETA AND a group called Long Island Orchestrating for Nature (LION), spotted the attacker moving slowly toward a pack of Geese while he was walking in Silver Lake Park.  

DiLeonardo crept swiftly and with purpose as he tracked the suspect across the park and plotted his next move.  Nervous that the attacker was choosing his target, DiLeonardo quickly worked to trap it and attempt to wrangle the explosive device from its' chest.  

After a few scary moments, DiLeonardo realized the explosive had been deactivated by water, potentially following a change of heart.  The suspect was taken to a nearby hospital where it was treated for wounds suffered from having the device taped to its' neck and was thoroughly interviewed by officers from its' hospital bed.  DiLeonardo speculates that the terrorist chickened out once the explosive was lit and ran itself into the nearby lake to defuse it.  

"She would be dead and so would her flock mates as well," DiLeonardo said while patting himself on the back.  

Now, you may be saying that this is a right place right time kind of thing, and I would tend to agree if MAYBE DiLeonardo was just a paid subscriber to PETA for their monthly brochures or some shit… but something about him being a member of TWO Animal activist groups doest add up.  Call me crazy, but I think this guy strapped a bomb to a bird's chest.

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