Somebody Alert PETA - A Penguin Massacre Is About To Take Place In NYC

It was less than a year ago when the Blueshirts magical run began against the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Pens finished the regular season as the East’s clear-cut #2 behind the mighty Bruins & had just won two straight to dispose of Columbus before 3 of 4 to push the Rangers to the brink of elimination. Aided by the return of Chris Kreider, other-worldy goaltending by the King & the team as a whole rallying around Marty after losing his mother, NY pulled off the improbable. All that mojo carried a good-but-not-great AV squad to within 3 games of a Stanley Cup. Fast-forward to today and it’s a totally different matchup. The Rangers are now the powerhouse & have shown no signs of faltering since a December OT win over – yep, the Penguins – sparked a 13-1 streak as well as an NHL takeover. Meanwhile, the once feared Penguins not only have just one shootout win in their last 7 meetings with NY but are dragging a shell of a roster into a postseason they almost played their way out of.
Outside of Kevin Klein, who is still expected to return at some point this series, the Blueshirts are a healthy as it gets. Lundqvist is as fresh as he’s ever been and, after last year’s “almost” & knowing his window is closing, I’m sure he’s as hungry as ever too. Pittsburgh skates into their underdog role with guys like Letang, Niskanen, Maatta, Jokinen & Neal – all important pieces last year – either injured or out of town. Chris Kunitz has finally hit the wall with just 20 points in his last 51 games despite continually paired with either Sid or Geno. Outside of Hornqvist, their acquisitions have sputtered. Winnik & Perron haven’t provided much support for their top dogs, Ehrhoff barely played half a season & new blueliners Lovejoy/Cole have helped their new team to just 7 wins in 20 games. The rest of their 6-man rotation that’s supposed to slow down one of the fastest, highest-scoring offenses? A pair of mid-30’s vets, a kid with 14 career NHL games and a journeyman who’s played just 7 since 2012. Even if Crosby (2 points in last 7 vs NY) & Malkin go off, that back-end combined with Fleury between the pipes are simply no match for the depth & balance throughout the Rangers top 9. Cute locker room signs aren’t gonna change that.

If this series goes more than 5 games, the Penguins should consider their playoffs a success…but it won’t. The New York Rangers will roll through the first round & be largely responsible for the subsequent blow-up/rebuild in Pittsburgh. If you think that’s a mush, you’re a big fat pussy. Considering where both teams are right now, this is easily the most lopsided matchup – if you can’t be confident in your Blueshirts here then what are you a fan for? Yes, anything is possible in the NHL playoffs. Sometimes you keep your mouth shut. Other times, you take pride in what your team has become. The Rangers are simply the best team in hockey while the Pens may be the worst in the tourney. I’m not gonna guarantee a Cup, but I am gonna guarantee their season doesn’t end here. NOW LET’S GO SLAUGHTER SOME MOTHERFUCKING PENGUINS!