Paige Spiranac Just Solved Coronavirus
Finally a solution! Hat tip to you, Paige Spiranac, for putting it into terms we can all understand. Coronavirus cases are at an all time high. Positive %'s are rising. And Paige swooped in and said this is how we solve it. Masks on, bras off. It's so simple yet nobody had thought of that til now. Biden gotta hold a press conference immediately and run on that platform. Shit, just name Paige your VP while you're at it. With ideas like this, who knows what else she can cook up.
So thank you President Paige for your service to our country. May people in Florida and Arizona finally get the message across clearly now.
(By the way, absurd we buckled down so fucking hard in NYC and didn't leave our homes forever, only for these other states to laugh at us and now they are dealing with what we dealt with months ago. We knew this was going to happen!)