ANUS (Teaser): Things We Wish Didn't Exist

Nick 6/4/2020 12:05 PM

Yesterday KB and I sat down and ranked 5 things we personally wish did not exist. Going in, I was confident in my list, and hoping KB would compile one to match, creating a stimulating conversation. My prayers were answered.

Below is a breakdown of each selection.

KB #5: Juicy Fruit Gum

Cons: Loses flavor quickly, deceiving packaging, misleading smell

Nick #5: Child Soldiers

Cons: They are soldiers who are children

KB #4: Roller Coaster Height Limits

Cons: Embarrassing for adults, disappointing for children

Nick #4: Poverty

Cons: Can't afford $175 Michael Rapaport Cameo

KB #3: Residue

Cons: Sometimes sticky, occasionally unsightly

Nick #3: World Hunger

Cons: Malnutrition, loss of life

KB #2: Greenland

Cons: Deceptively large on a mercator projection map, when in actuality, about the size of Kazakhstan

Nick #2: Cancer

Cons: Too sensitive, not compatible with Aries or Libras

KB #1: Sticky Tack

Cons: Not as permanent as glue, not as effective as tape

Nick #1: Racism

Cons: Everything

Unfortunately, as you can see in the video, KB stormed off to mens league before we could discuss the winner of the list-off. He also refused to have the graphic with no context posted online, with no explanation other than mumbling the words "juxtaposition", "that kind of list", and "cancelled".