A Friendly Reminder That The Flyers Own The Pittsburgh Penguins

Flyers 4, Penguins 1

Say what you want about the 2014-15 Philadelphia Flyers season. It’s been one big disappointment and there’s a ton of shit that obviously needs to change this offseason. If your name is Ron Hextall and you are reading this, move #1 needs to be firing Craig Berube. But as much as this season has made Flyers fans everywhere contemplate ending it all by guzzling down a cold glass of bleach, there is one small silver lining to be happy about. And that has been the Flyers’ complete and utter domination over that other team from Pennsylvania.

Like the great American philosopher Jay-Z once said, “Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t”. Now I’m no mathematician but since this tweet was from yesterday, I’d have to guess that this means it’s now been 532 days since the Flyers last lost a game to the Penguins. And I know what some of you dickbags are thinking right now (cough, cough crosbysbrain). When’s the last time the Flyers won the cup? LOL. 1975. ROFL. Well all of you can go take the stick that Crosby just scored his 300th career goal with last night and shove it right up your ass. Because this streak is coming up close to a year and a half. Like if the last time the Flyers lost to the Penguins was a baby, that baby would be walking by now. Maybe he even said his first words too. Most likely something like PECO Powerplay.

As for the game itself last night, the Flyers got 2 from Brayden Schenn and one a piece from Lecavalier and Colaiacovo. Yes, you read that right. Carlo Fucking Colaiacovo. This guy scored.

So yeah, the Flyers saeson has officially been cuncelled. Draw a line of chalk around them. It’s been a bizarre ride and I’m ready for it to finally be over. But they have one more chance to completely own the city of Pittsburgh on Sunday. If they can pull out that game, then I guess this season won’t be the biggest waste of time ever. Eh, they still suck.

Viva La Tastykakes! (BUY NOW TO HAVE IN TIME FOR MDW)