And We're Off, Seahawks Lineman Bruce Irvin Tweets That He Got A DUI, Haha Just Kidding, April Fools!

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I don’t even know if this is really an April Fool’s joke per se, just outright saying “Hey I got a DUI” then 20 minutes later saying “Got Ya!”, but I respect the hustle. Gotta get out in front of these April Fools jokes because by the end of the day everyone will want to murder you if you’re still doing this shit. Classic Pendulum day. Start the morning off hating people who attempt a joke, “Bruce Irvin is the worst!” and end the day hating everyone who spends the day hating the people who attempt jokes, “People who hate Bruce Irvin’s joke are the worst”. Like I’m already pissed at myself for getting angry at other people constantly talking about April Fools and how dumb it is, I am part of the problem. That’s the internet though, we’re all basically a human centipede. Eating shit and then shitting in someone else’s mouth. Good times.

For the record, this is a sneaky genius day to air something you did wrong. Could you imagine if Bruce Irvin did get a DUI for real? Fantastic way to cover it up. Now all the google hits are “Bruce Irvin pretends to get DUI as April Fools Joke”. It’s the perfect crime.

PS

Kmarko got me so bad on Gchat this morning, still reeling a little bit.

Double PS

Your old boy Newt just having a little fun with it.