Looks Like I'm Becoming A Cobbler!

If I found a Magic Lamp and had Three Wishes the first thing I’d ask for is a sexy pair of nude heels that dont hurt. And the Genie would look at me all confused and be like “You sure bro? You only get three of these.” And I’d be like “Just make the fucking shoes genie! I’m the one calling the shots here.” And so he’d make the shoes and be all smug like “what a fucking idiots this dude is! Worst wisher EVER.”

Then my second wish would be to teleport directly to Asa Akira’s house, where I’d present her with my sexy nude heels that dont hurt. I would then collect on my unlimited rim jobs prize and my third wish would be that the Genie has to forever sit and watch me while I get said rim jobs. An eternity of him watching Asa Akira toss my saled. Just forever reminding him that I’m the fucking boss, not him. Dont ever doubt my wishes man. Now get back in your lamp. I’m taking a rim job break for lunch. Get back out here in about 20 minutes.

I suppose I could have just cut out the high heels part and make my wish straight up be unlimited rim jobs but I’m pretty sure one of the rules of Genie Wishes is that you cant do that. Aladdin told us Genies cant kill anyone, they can’t grant unlimited wishes, and they cant make anybody fall in love. But I’m pretty sure theres a 4th rule that says you cant compel someone to dedicate their entire lives to tossing salad so I have to do this high heels agreement to get there. Checkers, folks. I’m playing fictional rim job and genie checkers.

(Yes, this is the weirdest blog I’ve written in a few years)